Ten Secret Things About Me

August 31, 2019

Something I really struggle with, is talking about myself. Like, REALLY talking about myself. Part of it is a fear of rejection, but also…I don’t consider myself to be particularly interesting. I can think of a few immediate people that would slap me upside the head for saying that, but thanks to lifelong anxiety, I’m always wondering if people are repeating, “shut up shut up shut up” inside their heads while laughing at a joke I’ve told.

Anxiety is a biatch, amirite?

Anyway, as a part of my commitment to sharing more in my brand again, I’m going to make a list of little known things about me. It took me a second to figure out a balance between oversharing and being interesting. LOL

    1. I’ve been on a French reality television show. 

Yes, it’s true. LOL Back in Hawaii, in the first couple years of my business, I was referred by a friend to be on a show, where French people came to Hawaii and pursue their dreams. It was called Angels something, it’s been taken off YouTube (thank you television gods). Anyway, I had to help this woman photograph her new baby clothing line. It was ridiculous and I dressed like an awkward idiot. HA!

2. I was a dog trainer in my early twenties. 

I hustled a lot in my early twenties, because I had a spending issue. (“had” is used liberally here). So I started Dog Training Solutions in Honolulu and made okay money for a bit. I just got crazy frustrated, because while dogs are easy…their owners are not. I was constantly asked, “how long do you think it will take to fix this?” and usually, you can really turn it around in about a month, with steady daily training. But people didn’t want to do the homework and it drove me insane.

3. I was in the military. 

This isn’t something I advertise widely, but I joined when I was 18 and got out when I was 25. It wasn’t my favorite life experience, but it offered some real stability to my life, including paying entirely for my Bachelors degree and most of my Masters.

4. I got my GED

I didn’t finish high school. I would say unfortunately, but I’m doing alright and it was the right choice for the time in my life. High school was way too anxiety inducing and lonely, plus I had debilitating depression. Getting out of bed seemed like an unsurmountable mountain at times. Getting a GED has never stopped me and now, I just consider it a fun piece of trivia.

5. I once owned 36 animals at a time. 

After I left home, I moved in with a guy. As one does. hah! I met him online, he had a job and was totally fine with me living with him and doing nothing but eating ramen and cheesecake. Nope, not kidding. It wasn’t the most shining moment of my life, that’s for sure. Anyway, my depression was really bad and the guy was more of a hoarder type…next thing I know, we’ve got a shit ton of animals! At the highest point, we had two dogs, two cats, two chinese water dragons, two tree frogs, three rats, five gerbils, a parakeet and a TON of fish. I’ve also owned a snake, an iguana (jesus lord, they’re terrible) and kittens and a stray dog.

I now have one dog and I’m totally cool with it.

6. My biggest pet peeve 


7. I used to ride in rodeos

I started riding horses when I was fourteen, mucking stalls and helping out eight hours a week, in exchange for riding lessons. After that volunteer program was ended, I went and worked at a ranch in Dallas for a few months, where I learned how to ride western, give trail rides AND race barrels. It was so much damn fun! I miss it, a lot.

8. I used to play violin

I played violin for four years actually. I was in Orchestra and loved learning how to play. I ended up quitting in high school, because I heard the Orchestra director was an asshole and I didn’t love it enough to deal with that. I still own the violin though!

9. I’ve been kicked out of a party before

Oh man, this is one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. So back when I was in the military, it was common to invite everyone to an event, like a birthday. One morning, one of my bosses pulled me and another lower ranking dude aside and asked us what we plan on bringing to Petty Officer X’s birthday party. We were confused, because we didn’t get an email. My boss, Petty Officer Asshole, goes “well, make sure you bring something. It’s at this time and this place.”

So I go and buy a $20 gift card to the commissary, all I could afford at that age. The party is a surprise one, so I show up on time, dressed up to go out on a date later. If you know me personally, you know I love a good slutastic wardrobe. Legs for days, heels, short shorts. The wife of PO Asshole answers the door and looks confused, but lets me in. At this age, I’m crazy anxious in social settings, so I’m just kind of standing around. I go into the kitchen, to see if I can help with something. I ask the wife if I can help with anything and she is super rude. I’m at a loss, wondering whats going on. After a few minutes, she turns towards me and goes, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a bitch, but you weren’t invited. You aren’t supposed to be here.”

Ohhhh. So THAT’S why I didn’t get an email. The wife storms out and I glared at my boss, who witnessed the whole thing. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked him. The jackass just shrugged and pops a cheeto in his mouth.

A couple minutes later, another coworker pulls me out to the front door and tells me to leave. I tearfully hand over the gift I had gotten PO Asshole and proceed to go on my date, feeling utterly humiliated.

Turns out, PO Asshole doesn’t like me and the wife decided to just not invite me. Out of everyone in the office. Which is why everyone was confused that I didn’t get the email and thought it was a mistake.

Ooof. How’s that for a story?

10. I’m low-key obsessed with the Titanic

I love watching this movie, because I know way too much. I’ve even been to the Titanic museum in Belfast, WHICH WAS AMAZING. I would love to go back and visit it, for sure.

So there you have it! A little bit about me! Whenever we hang out, I’d love to hear things about you! What is something about yourself that is fun and quirky?

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