I have debated for months about sharing this. In such a monogamy driven world, when you tell people you’re dating other people outside of your established relationship…a lot of peeps get weird AF. I’ve even pulled away from friends that practice monogamy, because being treated as a freak show really annoys me. Asking inquisitive questions is one thing, but getting the side-eye, like I’m a super human for addressing my emotional issues like jealousy, bothers me.
Yet here I am, declaring myself as an openly polyamorous wedding photographer. Because I love love so much, I have multiple partners. Can other photographers say that? Okay, okay, just kidding.
Joking aside, it’s been a journey getting to this moment in my life. In my romantic life wake, I have three ex-husbands and dozens of exes, proof that whatever I was trying was not working. Monogamy was suffocating for me, personally. I felt that society forced me to place hundreds of expectations on a partner, demanding they meet all of my needs in a single blow.
Despite all of the relationships that didn’t last, I kept trucking forward, trying to find whatever it was that my soul was searching for. It was actually my Vampire clients Daley and Logan, who are polyamorous, that inspired me to do some research. What was poly and what would that mean for me? Thus began months of researching and boots-on-the-ground learning. I joined local poly communities, met poly people, read poly books, scrolled through poly websites…I was a fact-devouring beast for anything poly.
Six months later and honestly…I’ve never been happier. I’ve been told I have a glow about me and honestly, while it DEFINITELY has to do with meeting my partner Brian, it also has to do with the fact that he lets me run amok around this earth and love other people too. He is the wind beneath my wings and 100% stoked to be my grounding rock.
So what does poly mean to me? It means authentic conversations with people who don’t have filters. It means going on dates for fun. It means cultivating relationships with partners that are whatever we want them to be. It means having less “deal breakers” because the majority of my partners will just flow in and out of my life. It means being a part of a community that is always striving for emotional ownership. It means being with partners that are expected, if not demanded, to communicate well. It means dating with intention, striving to always keep the romance flowing. It means doing the emotional labor that has only made me a better human being. It also means discovering more and more, every day, what my life should be.
I’m excited to offer a safe space for the many kinds of relationships that exist outside of the realm of monogamy. Do I think monogamy is cool and acceptable? Fuck yeah. Do you boo. I was born polyamorous. Maybe you were born monogamous. Or gay. or tall. or blue eyed. The struggle is that our ENTIRE society is geared towards monogamy, whether it works for everyone or not. So I feel a responsibility to openly announce I’m here for monogamous love, polyamorous love, and anything else that tickles your fancy.
I’ll be the pioneer. I don’t care if some people hate me. More than enough love me.