I had a client recently talk to me about planning their wedding. We’ll call them “Hermione.” See, Hermione was having a little bit of an issue, because when they had booked me a year before, they had an idea of what their wedding would be like. As planning continued, Hermione found themselves being slaughtered with ideas from well-intentioned friends and family. Their mother insisted on a traditional white dress, but Hermione wanted a muted blue one. Their father was insisting that his high school friend DJ the wedding. This made Hermione secretly cringe, ever since the DJ asked if the chicken dance was an okay option after the cake cutting. *shutter*
On top of it all, a bridesmaid that they’ve known since they were five-years-old kept making everything about herself and refused to help with any of the planning. Needless to say, Hermione was overwhelmed as f*ck.
The wedding eventually went off without a hitch, but it made me think about how the wedding industry is structured. Every website, expo and event that people attend, the info provided is constantly telling my clients what they should do. What they should like. What they should spend money on. It becomes too much really quickly and far too often, I have clients losing their minds up to their wedding day. It breaks my heart, because they should be excited and instead, they’re too exhausted to even answer an email.
So I’m here now, to give you permission. You have permission to do it however the hell you want. You have permission to create a Love Party or Wedding however you want. You have permission to make it all about you and your partner.
Let’s discuss a few key differences between a Love Party and a Wedding. First off, the word “wedding” has some serious chains attached to it, whether we realize it or not. Think about the hundreds, if not thousands of years, of tradition and beliefs that humans have developed about weddings. A great example is the garter toss, which is all about ripping clothing off of a virgin bride. (Click the link for other wedding traditions you might not know about!). Now, it can be a fun part of the night but more often than not, brides are cringing and embarrassed about being put on sexual display in front of friends and family.
You don’t have to do that. Your wedding will be perfectly fine without these traditions.
Another difference between a Love Party and a Wedding is the legalities of it all. Sure, if you’re a monogamous hetero-normative couple, this doesn’t affect you. Which is fine, no shame babes! But some people exist outside of normal society and still deserve love and commitment. A Love Party can be sans traditions AND legalities. Sometimes, a Love Party is just dressing up, eating good food and dancing until past midnight. No government. No churches. No religion. Just a kickass party with everyone you love.
As society shifts, so does how we approach religion, gender, sexuality and most importantly, relationships. The LGBTQA+ community is gaining space in our society and it’s so important that the wedding industry adjusts. I personally loathe the term “same-sex,” because it’s as limiting as hetero-normative society, when really, humans are diverse and complex beyond being “hetero” or “homo.” I know that I’m more than just a feminine human with pink hair. I’m willing to bet you’re more than what the world sees, too.
So I’m here to give you permission to buck the traditions and give the middle finger to whoever wants to try and control how you celebrate your commitment to your partner. Tell them to f*ck off and eat a cookie, because your party is going to be alllllll about you and your partner. OWN YOUR EXPERIENCE!
At the end of the day, you should build an experience that wholly reflects who you and your partner are, entirely. If you want a costume wedding, do it. If you want to wear white and have a bouquet, awesome. If you hate cake, eat pie. If you want your cat at your wedding, let’s make it happen.
I’m here to celebrate the diversity of humans and the complexity that exists within us. All I want is for my clients to have an amazing Wedding Day/Love Party, where they can’t stop smiling. I wish for my clients, more than anything, that they are anxiety-free, excited and head to their grand exit wishing the day could be frozen forever in time (hellooooo photography benefit #4728).
Looking for more ways to have the best experience while planning a massive event? Here are Four Questions to a Better Love Party. Make sure to contact us so we can hang out!
And enjoy the photo of Nikki grinning from ear to ear below. THIS was an epic New Years Eve Love Party, for sure!