Oh Hawaii, how you’ve kept my heart. You know what is crazy though? How much I disliked Hawaii when I lived there. The traffic, the insane hustle (medium income requirements start at $90k), the prices of things, the shitty housing. Hawaii was hell on my anxiety and PTSD, even with perfect weather and the ocean nearby. 

Leaving was the best thing I could have ever done for myself, but man, it felt GOOD to go back. So good. I am beyond grateful to Nikki for bringing me back home for a week. Brian and I went last year but…I was an anxious mess, working through a lot of rough shit. 10 years of emotional dandruff that needed a good scrubbing!

This trip, we stayed in Kailua, a block away from the beach. Every morning, I made coffee, grabbed a beach chair and went to the beach. It. Was. Delightful.I even pounded out a 2500 word short story, with my tootsies in the sand and the locals giving me a hard time for working. I mean…I was….but it’s writing. That’s not work…right?

People kept asking us what we had planned and I proudly said (practically bellowed, really) “Absolutely nothing!” We slept, we ate, we saw breathtaking scenery. We also spent some good time with Nikki and Zack, who are just adorable.

First off, Nikki felt like an old friend. I could sass her, telling crude jokes, tease her…just like an old friend. HELL, I don’t even tease my friends too much, but with Nikki, it felt okay. I  met her whole family, including her mom, who is an expert boat driver….but not an expert boat parker. LOL On her wedding day, I helped Nikki with her makeup, something I don’t think I’ve ever really done before.

I just felt myself swelling with gratitude almost every single second of the trip. I told the Universe I wanted my best life and I meant it. I need the ocean in my life, the sand in my toes, the sunshine filling the light of my heart. Here’s to more ocean and sunshine in my life!

The first couple photos are their engagement session on the sandbar!

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