Heading back to Hawaii for the last time in a long time was less, yet more, bittersweet than my visit in April. It’s as if the island was welcoming me with open arms, whispering sweet everythings in my ear, encouraging me to stay a little longer. In April, I was so depressed about returning, since it still involved finalizing crap with my divorce, but this time…this time is was about learning why I’ve been so…sad.
There, I said it: I’ve been sad. When you think about everything that has happened in the past year for me and my company, it’s overwhelming. How could I not be so tired all the time? I feel like I’ve been wrapped up in the rat race of the mainland, spending 80+ hours a week working, struggling to even focus on my health or my writing. My boyfriend has been patient, but even he can only tolerate so many breakdowns and freak outs, where I whine about being exhausted and burnt out.
Going back to Hawaii and taking four days off taught me a lot:
1. I’ve taken too much pride in the Art of Busy. Often, I switch from work to Facebook, sometimes taking an HOUR to surf my feed. AN HOUR, PEOPLE.
2. I need to put my health first. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and that isn’t acceptable. I can’t afford new jeans, y’all.
3. I need to leard to walk away, physically and mentally, from my job. Dustin made a good point: I marry my clients. I devote myself to them in a way I don’t even devote to my personal relationships. Which can be devastating, when clients are just simple folks who just want a job done. LOL I need to learn to put an emotional limit on my job.
4. I need to be outdoors more.
Balance. That elusive creature that we chase and chase, rarely achieving.
I am so blessed and honored that Dee and Galen decided to keep me for their Hawaii wedding and fly me out for their big day. Dee and I have chatted regularly (See: almost weekly) since the beginning of the year, talking most of the time about our personal lives. I learned that she struggles to love Galen more than her cats (what chick doesn’t struggle? KIDDING!), that she felt, at times, pulled in a billion directions for her wedding and how she loved reading as much as I did. It’s been a pleasure getting to know these two lovebirds and was a blast photographing them.
The day was easy and despite calling for storms, the day was sunny and unbearably hot. Sweat poured down every crevice, causing laughter when I used my dress to blot her forehead in between photography locations. The day was easy going, filled with happy family and Dee unable to hide her eyerolls at time. This chick would have been happy if she could have shown up in jeans, I bet. My kind of girl. 🙂
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