Amanda and Ben’s Sunrise Engagement Session
You know what I struggle with? Being kind to myself. Ate crappy food? I’m gonna be fat and ugly. Didn’t work on my business hard enough? I’m going to be poor and starve. Slept too much today? My laziness will lead to famine. Did I upset someone? I’m unloveable and they probably hate me.
This black or white way of viewing the world is symptomatic of childhood trauma, crappy ex-partners, and also various mental disorders. It’s a real struggle to exist within the grey area of life and I don’t always succeed. Sometimes, it’s easier to hate me. Grind into that sweet spot of hate inside me, like picking at an emotional scab.
I think weddings can really exacerbate the already existing struggle people have when it comes to being themselves. That need for black and white options. Perfect or horrible. Expensive or cheap. Virgin white or a lie (heehee). Cake or Cake (there is no option). We are already plagued with self-hate thanks to ads that sell us diets, thin actresses that insist they love burgers, the media that preys on fear. Then dive into an industry built on tradition, fears, and societal expectation…holy shitballs. It’s a war zone out here. Don’t mind the bride over there in the corner, she’s in the fetal position because she’s so happy.
SO HAPPY.
Take a moment to assess where you’re at. Ignore everything you have to do. Blow off all of the texts you have on your phone (just for five minutes, don’t panic!). Instead, take this moment to ask yourself, “what can I let go of? What do I not need to do?” Being kind to yourself doesn’t always mean staring at yourself in the mirror and whispering, “you’re beautiful and fuck that guy and you deserve to be happy.” Of course, that doesn’t hurt. But sometimes, it also means letting go of something. Let it fly into the wind and hit a tree you can’t see. Who cares? It’s not your concern anymore (unless it’s a balloon. Lost balloons kill turtles). Sometimes, we have to let go of fear. Fear of looking fat in our dress. Fear of an uncle being rude. Fear of things not going smoothly.
Let it go. Let it gooooooooo.
Alright, I’m a sadist. So sue me. BUT REALLY, half of the things stealing energy from you can just be let go. And there is no greater form of kindness to yourself than to say, “I don’t need to deal with this.” At the end of the day, you’re committing to someone you love. It’s going to happen, with or without your anxious gears turning. So being kind to yourself. Don’t start your marriage off with self-abuse.
Have a wonderful day. And enjoy this lovely engagement session with Amanda and Ben below and don’t miss their Addison Grove Wedding!
