Let’s talk about self-sabotage. Raise your hand if you’re really good at it. *raises both hands* I’ve caught myself recently, repeatedly, doing things I know I shouldn’t…simply because I’m afraid of success. I told this to Brian recently and he was…dumbfounded. Told me that I’m really successful, seemingly fearless. But I know deep down this isn’t true. In fact, when I do too many days in a row of healthy choices, I inevitably make really bad decisions. It’s like I’m so convinced bad things will happen, that I just make them happen, rather than waiting for something I can’t anticipate.
That’s some deep shit, right?
I don’t know how to make it stop, but being aware is an important step…or something. But realizing I’m my own worst enemy is important. I catch myself ignoring emails, not answering the phone, refusing to mail something off that needs to be mailed. Now, I *do* have anxiety and depression that affects me, but this is something deeper. This is fear, telling me that I don’t have the energy to give. This is fear telling me that I don’t deserve what I’m capable of. I don’t want this to be true. I want to do big things with my life and my business.
Do you struggle with anything like this? What is something you knew you should have done but didn’t?
I love this session below, with Amanda and Dan. We woke up super early on a Saturday morning, to walk around the Domain. Of course, nothing was open and thus, it was pretty empty. Which makes it quite delightful! They’ve put a lot of energy into the design of the space, which is lovely! I also loved that these two just did a session…just because. They’re already married (for a year and a half) and just wanted to have a good time. I was happy to facilitate (after some coffee haha).
Have a lovely day!